Dangers at the park: Anonymous gay sex in Kuwait

They come from different countries and backgrounds. They range in age from early 20s to late 50s. Some are married, some are not. What they all share, however, is a secret. One so dangerous that if they are caught they could face jail time, deportation (for the expats) or commitment to the psychological hospital here in Kuwait.

Known locally as simply "The Park" the place these men gather is shrouded in secrecy and darkness. A clandestine meeting place for homosexuals, the Park is where some gay men in Kuwait go to meet others and engage in illicit encounters.
What takes place in the Park is public gay intercourse, starting from the early hours of the morning until short before midnight.

People don't go to the park very late at night for fear of attracting attention. There have been several raids on the park, and no one would want to attract attention to themselves by being there late at night. "It's not very safe, you never know what would happen," said one of the guys who goes to the place religiously.

What they want is understood by anyone who goes there: Sex. Casual, anonymous and often unsafe. What they risk is everything. Family, reputation, home, career and in some extreme cases, even their life.

Kuwait law considers homosexuality illegal. Article 193 of the Kuwaiti penal code punishes homosexuality between men over the age of 21 with up to seven years imprisonment. If a minor is involved in the action, the punishment goes up to a maximum of 10 years. More importantly, many of these men are married and they risk the lives and health of their wives and children, potentially exposing them to dangerous diseases.

But the rewards often outweigh the dangers.

It's great," says 27-year-old Kuwaiti homosexual Tariq, (not his real name). "I go there and get with anyone I find attractive." Tariq is married and has two daughters. He is gay though he is married.

Tariq says his family arrange his marriage, even though he didn't want to get married. "I only sleep with my wife because I want her to be happy. I don't want her to feel that I'm not satisfying her.

His wife is his cousin and the marriage was arranged before he graduated from university. To keep his wedding vows and maintain appearances, Tariq lives a double life. "It's very restricting. The idea of a contract is very limiting, you can't have your liberty, and you keep worrying about your family, and what if people find out about you?

Discretion and anonymity are key to the Park's attraction. Tariq says that he goes there because it is anonymous. "You don't need to talk to these guys, you just go there and you get what you want and leave, carry on living your day," he explains. "You don't need to tell them your name, you don't need to tell them where you work or what you do, you basically have no connection with them in your real life.

Even so many of the same men gather there day after day. Tariq says he stumbled upon people that he has been with several times. "They sort of circulate," he said, jokingly.

Some men find that it quickly becomes an addiction.

I used to go every single day for a while, even if I'm not doing it with anyone, I just go there to watch," 25-year old Dawood says. He points out that you don't need to give out any signals to people. " You don't need to talk to them about anything. All you have to do is just go there. Just be there, and they'll get the message.

The number of gay men who are out of the closet in Kuwait is very small, due to the fact that people still have their prejudice against the subject. Homosexuals themselves often think that what they are doing is a sin, and that one day they will repent.

It's not normal behavior," says Wael, a 30-year old Jordanian gay man. "Even if some people believe that it is normal, we are still living in an Arab society, and people still have their values and beliefs. They can't get rid of them all of a sudden. It has to take a long time.

Wael says that even those who claim to be open-minded will change their mind about homosexuality as soon as a relative comes out of the closet. "As long as it doesn't affect their immediate family, everyone is open-minded about gays and lesbians. But will they accept it if their brother or sister said they're homosexual? No.

Wael thinks that men who go to the park taint the picture of homosexuals. "We already suffer from their comments everywhere. They misrepresent us, we don't appear to them as normal people who only differ from others when it comes to sexual preferences. Instead we appear as a herd of wild animals whose only concern is sex," protested Wael.

A lot of those who go to the Park don't usually practice safety. "It doesn't come to you usually," says Tariq, while Dawood says he carries a pack of condoms with him all the time. "They usually come from outside countries, you never know if they have any STDs. And these people, they're like wh***s, they don't really care about STDs.

Tariq says that he never worried about STDs. "I think that what's supposed to happen to you will happen to you eventually. If I'm supposed to die, I'd leave this coffee shop right now and get hit by a car." He says that he does not like to think about him carrying any diseases to his wife and family.

The park is not only a place. It's a habit. The dangers are real and the harm that it may cause are irreparable. To the mostly in-the-closet homosexual community of Kuwait, the park may seem a place of freedom in a strict conservative society where they have never been accepted. But random sexual encounters without adequate protection are dangerous for anyone - regardless if you are in San Francisco or Kuwait or New York or Budapest. What takes place in the park may be known only to a few but the effects can have far reaching consequences.
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Source: http://www.kuwaittimes.net/read_news.php?newsid=MTI3MTUyNjA0OA==